Homesick

Tonight, just now actually, I got hit by a huge bout of homesickness.

Earlier this weekend my cousin Jen called me. I can't believe how much I miss my cousins, and my aunts, and my uncles, and my parents. I guess I don't really miss HOME. Just the people that I call home.

Most specifically, I miss Meghan and MK. I miss my best friend. She doesn't judge me, and she just let's me be me. She tells me how it is, and she lets me know who should be in my life and who shouldn't be. I trust her judgments more than anyone else's. I could even say that she is, and will probably always be my only true best friend. It makes me really sad to not be with her. And I hate feeling like we don't talk because she's gotten me through the hardest times in my life. I'm not sure if she'll ever really know how much she's changed my life for the better. Both of them have, really.

Wintery Mix

This weekend was almost a total bust.

Friday didn't happen. Ashley and Bryn still went down to Iota because they were spending the night to do battle of the bands the following day and didn't have to drive up through the (lack of) snow that was due to fall. The rest of us ended up not going which was a huge disappointment. If I had known that was going to happen I probably would have tried to go to Scotts. Is that sad that I really have no reason to be in Clemson on the weekends if it's not for band or KKPsi? I hope that means that I don't love this place, because I know that I do... Anywho, I ended up being uber dissapointed. Thomas helped, though. We watched a mini House marathon and a bunch of Dirty Jobs. I'm not sure what I would do without him around.

Saturday was just icky. I did some homework, took a nap, watched a LOT of TV. Blindhorse plans got cancelled due to weather. I took some nyquil and went to sleep at 8:30. Wooooohoooooooo.

Today was just as uneventful. I got up with Melissa and went to church. I liked it. It was different. It's still very strange to go to church as a full blown atheist. The ideals and messages and music is all well and cool, but is it right to sing along to something you don't believe in? Is it horrible to see the bible as a historical book, in it's significance? I feel like it might be, but I don't think that it should make me any less of a person. I've surprised people with my lack of beliefs. It's unfathomable by a lot of people, apparently, how I can be such a good and well rounded person without God in my life. I don't disrespect those who do believe because I can see the merit in it, I am just not a believer myself... I just hope that people don't judge me because of it. Maybe I should just tell people that I'm Jewish. It's not too far from the truth.

Lots to do this week. Catch up from a not-so productive weekend.

Good Day

So here's what all I did today:

Woke up
Complained about ridiculous downstairs neighbors and their crazy music
Grudgingly went to Hort 310 and learned about bugs
Ate lunch with Devin
Attempted to convince Allie to move to The Summit
Spent English class trying to focus but failing
Planted things and goofed off in lab
Shot the shit with Chris
Went to an epic fail of a lease renewal party
Went swimming
Drove to Greenville
Became "those girls" at the blindhorse (:D)
Met a dude named Moped... yeah... Moped
Went to Waho
Came back


Sorry for the laundry list. It really doesn't seem like much when put like that, but let me tell you I'm pooped! I can't wait to go to blindhorse again on Saturday. I'm getting braver and trying new things. I'm still slow to pick things up but I'm pretty sure I'll get there. The dancers tonight weren't as easy to follow as the ones hired on busier nights. I'm going to have to resume my lesson going.

Iota tomorrow!

Classes... Yuck

Yesterday in Hort 310 I learned about plant "herpes" as Scott would call it. Pretty much, I was right in my gardenia's diagnosis with a fungal infection. Maybe I just wasn't diligent enough with my fungicide treatments. Either way, 1800flowers gave me a gift certificate to comp the poor thing. I've found that I really like taking care of our greenhouse plants. I'm not sure that I'll know what to do with myself the weeks that I'm not checking on them at least once a day. Our group seems to be doing pretty okay. We each take different weeks to check on our seedlings and cuttings and Jonathan usually follows up and fixes any screw ups that we may have done. Maybe I am in the right major after all. :)

Plans for this weekend seem to be falling into place nicely. I'll leave Scott alone for a weekend since he's about to be stuck with me for the month of February. Tomorrow night Heather, Tess, and I are going to blindhorse to do some line dancing. Friday night I'm going to go down and visit Iota brothers. Then Saturday is homework and internship applications. Then that night I'm going to blindhorse with at least Heather and hopefully Lindsey as well!

I got invited to do a forestry competition in the end of March. I'm thinking about declining the offer, though. I have enough going on with PLANET and KKPsi.

Aquariums and Rain

This weekend was kind of hectic, crazy, fun, busy, etc!

Friday there was a fraternity function. Scott came down for the weekend and joined in. I look forward to getting to know the Sigma class and the energy that a group of candidates seems to renew in our chapter.

Saturday we woke up super early (I complained a lot) to go to the aquarium. Sadly, my car didn't even make it out of Central without a major mishap. I kind of, sort of, may have run it into a gas station barrier? It crunched in the lower part of my rear passenger door. I cried about it almost the whole way to Atlanta. NOT a good start to the day. However the aquarium was really cool. No Belugas this trip, but I got to pet a whole bunch of things and see whale sharks. The whale sharks were my favorite part. It makes me want to get my diver's license and go on the dive in the shark tank that they offer! We blew through the place in like two hours. After we left, I realized that getting up at the crack of dawn was worth it to avoid the crowds of screaming children that 

were starting to take over the place w

hen we left. Later that afternoon we attempted to take a walk down to the dam in Clemson, but got a little turned around and after I insisted five or six times that it would be "just around that next bend" we gave up and went back to the car. 

Yesterday was nothing to write home about. Just a tornado warning and a trip to the Brooks Center basement. :) 

      

Hoping for a Better Day

Yesterday just wasn't my day. I guess only two bad things really happened to me, but it really made my day feel shitty. 

The first thing  I did when I got to school yesterday was fall into a mud puddle and skin my knee pretty bad. I laughed it off, but it really hurt! 

The kicker was the whole deal about my research (or lack of). After the end of last semester and winter break I did a lot of thinking about whether or not I wanted to continue the research project. I'm really awful at working in a sterile environment. I only really understood half the things my professor told me. Overall, the whole thing just made me feel really jittery, tired, and stressed out. Also, while I've been obsessing over the internship thing I've been thinking about what I want to do. Working inside in a lab for the rest of my life on microscopic tissue cultures that I'll only see in the greenhouse after 3 years doesn't really sound like me. So I e-mailed my professor, apologized, and left the project. He seemed okay with it. 

Then, Hort 102 came yesterday. It's a freshman class that I shouldn't even be in (but neglected to take until now because it interferes with concert band) and a different professor teaches it every week. Who walks in? The professor who's research project I just quit. He walks in, looks at me and exclaims, "What are you doing here Jaime?" I just kind of chuckle and tell him that I put it off and now I feel like an old lady in a room full of Freshman and I thought things were going to be okay. No. They were not going to be okay. The whole lecture was a little bit of basics on his lab, and then a very detailed look into the project that I started but failed to stay on and how eventually he's going to need someone on board because I (yes, he pointed me out) decided I didn't want to do it. Granted when he was going over everything he did mention, almost word for word from my e-mail,  all of the reasons why people wouldn't want to do tissue culture. However, it still gave me this overwhelming sense of guilt and failure. 

The problem is that I don't know what I want to do in Horticulture and I'm very afraid of proving my mother right and never amounting to anything more than the clerk at the Walmart garden center. 

After a rough night's sleep, I'm hoping that after classes and a nap today I'll feel less like a truck run over me and more like myself. 

On a better note, school things are still good, friend things are still good, and boyfriend things are still good as well. 

More Internships

I know that the whole internship thing must be getting old to everyone around me, now. I've been obsessing for about a week and as soon as I feel like I have a grip on the situation I'll stop. Promise.

However, I narrowed my applications down to 6.

-Green Chimneys Therapy Program
-Lewis Family Farm
-Carolina Florist Supply
-Highlands
-Raker's Acres
-Head-Lee nursery

I think that's actually my order of preference right now. The only thing that really makes me nervouse about Green Chimneys is that on their website they say that they give their farm internships a stipend (in some cases). What does that mean? I don't want to come out of my summer with less money than I had going in. That just wouldn't be fun.

Other than that school's good. Hopefully this weekend will bring around a trip to the GA aquarium with Scott which would be lots of fun. :)

Bobcats, and Eagles, and Bears! Oh my!

This weekend has turned out pretty good. :)

Yesterday we went for a walk around this little park in Salisbury and it was pretty, but not a lot of things were in bloom. Then we went on a "mystery ride" (remember those KT?) and we went to Nichols park which is a really cool little place. It's kind of park/biological center/camp grounds hybrid. They had a little reptile and aquarium center where we saw GINORMOUS cat fish and alligators and poisonous snakes! Then we went to the petting barn and I got to see a cute miniature donkey named Sam and a very angry turkey. Finally we got to see the wildlife exibit that they had. There were bald eagles, bobcats, an adorable bear, a fox, some owls, deer, and a racoon who couldn't figure out how to leave a little room he had probably walked into a few minutes earlier. It was a great little surprise for the weekend.

Now, if you know me you know that put me anywhere near animals and I become a little kid in a candy shop. All the excitement kind of wore me out and I didn't get much internship work done yesterday. I guess I'll have to do some more this afternoon.

Estimated time of departure: 3 PM

Hopefully that will give me enough time to get back down to Clemson, grab some food, and go to chapter. Tomorrow will be work work and more work. I'm just not looking forward to being back in the grind. Boo.

WooooHoooooo!

Check out the e-mail I got this morning. 

Dear Jaime,

Good morning!

Hello again.

Yes, as I mentioned last year, your 'spot' here is secured. We are looking forward to having you here this coming Summer.

One of the farm's owners, just yesterday updated the websites -- you may wish to look at them, to see what we have been up to, and to catch-up on this coming Summer season's internship.

We look forward to your arrival here Jaime.

Sincerely

________

This is particularly exciting since I haven't sent in my application yet. I definitely danced around like a 15 year old who just landed their first date. It feels almost like college acceptance season all over again! This doesn't mean I have any less work to do this weekend. Between school and internship things Scott's going to get very bored with me this weekend. 

Same Old Same Old

I always seem to write in my blog after I go line dancing. Go figure.

Well, I went line dancing last night! Haha. Heather and I trucked out to Greenville after symphonic band rehearsal was over for Blindhorse's weekly lessons. It was actually a lot more fun that I thought it would be. It's kind of this huge challenge to be new to a group of about 70 individuals from beginner beginner to paid to dance caliber. When we got there we still had a bit of time to wait before the lesson started and some of the more experienced folks were doing some VERY hard dances. However, we found 2 (count 'em 2!!!) that we had actually learned from previous attempts. The lesson warm up was a dance that we had already learned (yup we're at 3) and we learned 2 or 3 MORE dances during the lesson! It felt really good to actually grasp the basic steps and to finally not be the worst dancer in the building!

On another note, internship applications are taking over my life. I'm applying to 9 internships. 1 is in Anderson at a wholesale cut flower warehouse. 1 is in Seneca at a family owned nursery. This isn't like the little place I worked at over the summer. Their greenhouse is HUGE and I have an interview-ish type thing tomorrow afternoon. 1 is in Highlands, NC at the biological station. 1 is at the Sarah P. Duke Botanical Garden in NC. 2 of them are in upstate NY. One is an internship on a large scale organic farming operation. The other is a theraputic Horticulture internship that I'm actually very excited about. I would be in charge of helping mentally handicapped children learn how to garden and better their motor skills by interacting with plants. This is a lot like what I did at Camp Harkness, except that was with horses. The cool thing is, Green Chimneys (the place the internship is at) is also an equestrian therapy center so I might get to do some riding over the summer, too! Another internship is Raker's Acres in Michigan. It's one of the largest plug producing companies in the US with some of the best technology out there. Yet another internship is in GA, Chatham Landscape Design, and it's a landscape design internship in the Atlanta area. The last one is an arboretum at Harvard. And then there's always the backup of going back to Green Survival. I love Green Survival but in order to step into the Horticulture industry I really should get a bigger, more prominent internship over the summer.

So all in all that's 7 applications, 27 letters of reference, 9 resumes, 2 transcripts, 7 cover letters, 2 statements of interest, a shitton of postage... and a partridge in a pear tree?

If I seem extra moody or irritable over the next few months it's just the stress of getting everything out on time and waiting for responses.

Much love.

Love, Line Dancing, and Learnin'

School's started up again as has the hectic scheduling. Don't get me wrong, I love my class schedule for the semester, but it's just a lot of work. I tried SO hard to squeeze a band into my schedule but that didn't work out. Hort 310 lab is going to take over my life since not only will we probably go over our lab time every week but I need to go into the greenhouses every day and on weekends! Planet is taking over my life with a 2 hour meeting per week as well as student study time. I got into the math class that I needed and I'm pretty sure that this is the math class for me. By that I mean in the last 2 classes we've learned how to take equations and explain them in sentances. WOOOOOOOWEEEEE. Tough stuff. If I settle into a rhythm maybe the semester won't seem so overwhelming and scary. 

Wednesday night Heather and I managed to squeeze in some line dancing. It was awesome. :) I suck so bad, but even through all that embarrassing suckage we danced until we had blisters. We were going to try to go last night, as well, but people were driving like idiots so it wasn't going to happen. We decided to go for lessons on Wednesday after I get out of my PLANET meeting and Heather gets out of symphonic band. I'm super excited. I get to learn the funky cowboy. lol 

Scott's coming down here this weekend. I don't know how I managed to get out of driving up there but I'm kind of looking forward to it. We have plans for tonight and tomorrow Melissa and I are going to make the boys lasagna. It'll just be a nice break from traveling. I'm so tired of getting in the car and driving and I'm excited to show off how pretty our apartment is now! Besides, after break I realized how much I missed my bed and I'm just not sure I'm ready to give it up yet. :) 

New Years

For the first time in a long time I haven't made a New Years resolution. I have things that I'd like to accomplish, but every time I resolve to do anything  it never really happens. 

-I'd like to get in shape. Not lose weight, specifically, but be able to be athletic again. Since my leg was broken I don't really do much of anything. I wish I could, but hopefully I'll get there. I have friends to help me out.

-I'd like to do better in school. This semester wasn't a total flop, but it wasn't the best I could do, either. I'd really like to not give up half way through a semester since that tends to be what happens. 

-I'd like to be a better friend. I leave too many phone calls, text messages, and e-mails unreturned and too many plans broken. I want to branch out and spend time with people that I don't normally spend time with, and spend more time with the people I already love. 

-I'd like to make some headway on my research. I'm not sick anymore. I should be able to squeeze it in somewhere right? 

-I'd like to make this relationship work. It's been awhile, now. We've met the parents, met friends, made some plans. I'm happy. I just need to focus on not letting comfortable turn into a downward spiral. I just don't want to mess this one up. He's sweet and patient, and I just can't bare to lose him. Hopefully a year from now things will be just as peachy. 

 -I'd like to dwell less on the past and focus more on the present. 

I just hope that this next year brings about good things and happy people in my life. So far it's been pretty good. Let's hope it keeps progressing that way.